Thusly:

Always find.




suzerain. and that's for gmail.
Wed Aug 20
you know how there’s aa’s, aaa’s, c’s, d’s? well, there are also single a’s. this is a picture of a group of a’s taken from a laptop with a “c” and a “aa” and  a “aaa” for comparison. well, actually, those are technically 5/4 a’s because they are the length of an “a ” + 1/4 of it’s overall length, thereby making a straight “a” battery 4/5 the length of what is pictured. there is no “b” sized battery and what would be considered a “b” size-wise is called a sub-c.

you know how there’s aa’s, aaa’s, c’s, d’s? well, there are also single a’s.

this is a picture of a group of a’s taken from a laptop with a “c” and a “aa” and  a “aaa” for comparison. well, actually, those are technically 5/4 a’s because they are the length of an “a ” + 1/4 of it’s overall length, thereby making a straight “a” battery 4/5 the length of what is pictured.

there is no “b” sized battery and what would be considered a “b” size-wise is called a sub-c.

gpoywoidow and bet yr biddies that ol’ ernst is rolling over in his grave over this foolishness.

gpoywoidow

and bet yr biddies that ol’ ernst is rolling over in his grave over this foolishness.

brianvan: -kristen: brianvan: noraleah: The Amethyst Initiative takes its name from ancient Greece, “where the purple gemstone amethyst was widely believed to ward off drunkenness if used in drinking vessels and jewelry.” Chinese astrology agrees: It is common to wear amethyst jewelry if you are about to drink a lot. Amethyst will protect you from drunkenness and will keep you sober. I can’t believe I went to what was, at the time, the 8th biggest party school in the country and they never taught me this! I went to the 3rd biggest party school in 1997, and by 2000 they were completely off the list because they were sick of being ranked. No, they didn’t teach us this either. But I once saw a 220-lb undercover public safety officer almost break off the arm of a 170-lb man, from behind and with no warning, in order to restrain him for the offense of… carrying a can of beer. That is how much their party school ranking stuck in their craw. My primary criticism was that, at the end of the day, the university didn’t do a damn thing to replace the alcohol-based activities they were disrupting and eliminating, leaving all under-21 students with nothing to do after class except study, play video games, and jerk-off. I found the university antisocial and miserable after the crackdown; I nearly transfered to UF before the start of junior year. But I stuck it out, turned 21, told our university president to go fuck himself, and had a great senior year. $4 Yuengling pitchers, 50-cent Natural Light drafts, and a lot of dancing and fucking. Though I could have used the amethyst on a few occasions. Did you go to FSU? No, U. Delaware. The transfer to UF would have accommodated my parents moving from NYC to Northeastern FL (not near, but not incredibly far from Gainesville) and there were really no alternatives at my academic level. Unfortunately, it was unworkable. I was once an Ivy candidate (Princeton, Harvard) and UF was suggesting I take TWO semesters at community college and repeating sophomore year to catch up to their core requirements (which differed from Delaware significantly). I did not see myself taking such huge backwards steps at that point. Wise decision. i’m glad you all didn’t go to the private art and design college i was enrolled in. we preferred schedule I and II controlled substances and your crystalline talisman would have likely been smoked, snorted, or mainlined.

brianvan:

-kristen:

brianvan:

noraleah:

The Amethyst Initiative takes its name from ancient Greece, “where the purple gemstone amethyst was widely believed to ward off drunkenness if used in drinking vessels and jewelry.”

Chinese astrology agrees:

It is common to wear amethyst jewelry if you are about to drink a lot. Amethyst will protect you from drunkenness and will keep you sober.

I can’t believe I went to what was, at the time, the 8th biggest party school in the country and they never taught me this!

I went to the 3rd biggest party school in 1997, and by 2000 they were completely off the list because they were sick of being ranked. No, they didn’t teach us this either. But I once saw a 220-lb undercover public safety officer almost break off the arm of a 170-lb man, from behind and with no warning, in order to restrain him for the offense of… carrying a can of beer. That is how much their party school ranking stuck in their craw.

My primary criticism was that, at the end of the day, the university didn’t do a damn thing to replace the alcohol-based activities they were disrupting and eliminating, leaving all under-21 students with nothing to do after class except study, play video games, and jerk-off. I found the university antisocial and miserable after the crackdown; I nearly transfered to UF before the start of junior year. But I stuck it out, turned 21, told our university president to go fuck himself, and had a great senior year. $4 Yuengling pitchers, 50-cent Natural Light drafts, and a lot of dancing and fucking. Though I could have used the amethyst on a few occasions.

Did you go to FSU?

No, U. Delaware. The transfer to UF would have accommodated my parents moving from NYC to Northeastern FL (not near, but not incredibly far from Gainesville) and there were really no alternatives at my academic level. Unfortunately, it was unworkable. I was once an Ivy candidate (Princeton, Harvard) and UF was suggesting I take TWO semesters at community college and repeating sophomore year to catch up to their core requirements (which differed from Delaware significantly). I did not see myself taking such huge backwards steps at that point. Wise decision.

i’m glad you all didn’t go to the private art and design college i was enrolled in. we preferred schedule I and II controlled substances and your crystalline talisman would have likely been smoked, snorted, or mainlined.

Tue Aug 19

How It's Made tonight:

(on the discovery channel)

putty knives; garage doors; electric motors; wool.

this show may sound boring to you, but it’s my “reality tv”.

Tuesday's Truncation Challenge

saramcpherson:

Can anyone think of a more succinct way to describe The Obnoxious Thing At The Store Entrance That Blows Air In Your Face To Keep Bugs From Coming Inside?

they’re called “air curtains” and they’re used to impede thermal ventilation/exchange.

deleteyourself: Hey look! Something hilarious on Guest of a Guest! Look at Michael Phelps. Look at him. Look at his hat tilt. Look at his hoodie. Is this really America’s hero? (Link) HA! HE’S A TURBODOUCHE!

deleteyourself:

Hey look! Something hilarious on Guest of a Guest! Look at Michael Phelps. Look at him. Look at his hat tilt. Look at his hoodie. Is this really America’s hero? (Link)

HA! HE’S A TURBODOUCHE!

No more meetings at Starbucks

marco:

mikehudack:

Check out Les Halles.

That’s right below our office. We’ve only eaten there once (when Pownce came to visit us) because it’s relatively expensive and we usually get take-out from delis.

The menu is very French and confused us.

Waiter: (taking our order)
David: Do you have anything like a cheeseburger?
Waiter: (points to a $20 foie-gras hamburger)
David: Can I have that, but without the foie gras, and with mozzarella cheese?
Waiter: (looks annoyed) We only have gruyere.
David: OK, one of those.
Me: Make that two.
Pownce people: We’ll just have some fries.

It was the best cheeseburger I’ve ever had.

i eat there with some frequency.

i have to say that their steaks leave a little to be desired. their definition of pittsburgh rare (a.k.a. black and blue/rare-charred) involves pansearing. this is not acceptable to anyone that truly enjoys a pittsburgh rare steak. i will, however, recommend their tenderloin, cooked rare.

also, i will say that their wine list is magnificent. i recommend the chinon or cab. franc to go with your steak.

waking up to find the hebrew hammer playing on comedy central is indeed a mitzvah.
waking up to find the hebrew hammer playing on comedy central is indeed a mitzvah.
mission of burma’s trem two has always been the french camembert to my palatte.
planettampon: I don’t know how readable this is but I can’t post from work anymore. Brb drowning myself. and why the hells aren’t you using the more fantastic (and stealthier) tumblr beta?! whole new and diff’rent strokes.

planettampon:

I don’t know how readable this is but I can’t post from work anymore. Brb drowning myself.

and why the hells aren’t you using the more fantastic (and stealthier) tumblr beta?! whole new and diff’rent strokes.

Mon Aug 18
“ The technical term for this is ignoratio elenchi.

Monkey Typist, referring to the typically vapid remarks of some political spokesperson, noted that the inclusion of a valid but irrelevant point in a discussion is called ignoratio elenchi. Wikipedia goes into detail about this category of rhetorical idiocy.

I am grateful to have learned this term. It succinctly encapsulates the most important element of political and business spin, and indeed describes the most common tactic I, my coworkers, and our overlords use on one another in meetings: embed an insipid truth in a tangled phrase of jargon and watch as listeners nod, unwilling to be thought of as uncomprehending (and unsure of whether you’re lying, as they heard at least one true assertion in there!).

Should anyone ask clarifying questions, complicate your syntactical structures, deploy more obscure jargon, and refer to areas of knowledge no one has a command of in your organization. Repeat as needed.

(via mills)

there are belt buckles available for such individuals. i reckon the complex pewter cast would look mighty fine with a snakeskin belt, if’n ye were to be askin’ me.
nextnew: Fu Saber: The new Epic Fu shirts go great with all these lightsabers we have lying around the office now. Thanks Steve and Zadi! Get shirts: shop.epicfu.com Get lightsabers: indymogul.com.

nextnew:

Fu Saber: The new Epic Fu shirts go great with all these lightsabers we have lying around the office now. Thanks Steve and Zadi! Get shirts: shop.epicfu.com Get lightsabers: indymogul.com.
in regards to this kinda stuff… see where it says “contains a bitterant…”? that’s relatively new and a bitterant is an additive they put in to make it taste or smell horrible (much like the stinky, sulphurous additive they mix with propane and natural gas — which are odorless by nature). i gotta tell ya, that stuff tasted a whole lot better 18 years ago when we used to huff it in the darkroom at my high school. anyway, nitrous is a crisper and cleaner buzz. dust-off just makes you feel like you’re on an underwater sludge march is all. meh.

in regards to this kinda stuff…

see where it says “contains a bitterant…”? that’s relatively new and a bitterant is an additive they put in to make it taste or smell horrible (much like the stinky, sulphurous additive they mix with propane and natural gas — which are odorless by nature). i gotta tell ya, that stuff tasted a whole lot better 18 years ago when we used to huff it in the darkroom at my high school. anyway, nitrous is a crisper and cleaner buzz. dust-off just makes you feel like you’re on an underwater sludge march is all. meh.

blakeley: If I owned a bar it would be a lot like Lakeside Lounge best cot damn jukebox in all of new york city bar none (beats even the one at daddy’s in williamsburg), and andre williams used to play there live. it’s also a well-known hangout for grips and electrics from the film industry. lord knows i’ve rolled in there with a group of guys after wrapping a 16 hour day after a 6am call and we’d still manage to close the place. the place is tops. plus: unadvertised cans of tecate or the beast for $2.50 behind the bar.

blakeley:

If I owned a bar it would be a lot like Lakeside Lounge

best cot damn jukebox in all of new york city bar none (beats even the one at daddy’s in williamsburg), and andre williams used to play there live. it’s also a well-known hangout for grips and electrics from the film industry. lord knows i’ve rolled in there with a group of guys after wrapping a 16 hour day after a 6am call and we’d still manage to close the place. the place is tops.

plus: unadvertised cans of tecate or the beast for $2.50 behind the bar.

The Best Roast Ever - Norm MacDonald

michaelorell:

caseydonahue:

I really think only people who make comedy found this to be funny. Thanks guys for also thinking it was funny.

davidfuternick:

Funny, brave and even heartfelt…

teamtigerawesome:

Nick cried when he watched this.

(via videogum)

Let’s relax Casey. I agree, his part was the most original and brilliant roast these eyes have ever seen and these ears have ever heard, but to have loved it (like we all did) you don’t have to “make” comedy man, you simply need to “get” comedy.

when i was the sound guy at the comedy cellar, i noticed a very large difference between the jokes the comedians would tell on stage and the jokes they would tell each other while sitting around upstairs at the olive tree awaiting their set.

bravo, norm, your set was amazing (and i normally don’t like your material!).